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Each morning from 8:30 to 9:05 AM at our company’s headquarters, in San Francisco, we serve free breakfast to every employee. And I’m not talking about stale muffins and dry bagels. Today I ate a sloppy joe, cheesy scrambled eggs, home fries, crispy bacon, and sausage links. Healthy, I know. Tomorrow, I’m definitely going to grab a yogurt and some fruit. And don’t forget all the vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options. After all, this is California. I know what you’re thinking. Free food is the cost of admission to the Silicon Valley tech scene. Our startup, Pivotal, calls the South of Market (SOMA) neighborhood home, alongside companies like Airbnb, Dropbox, Adobe, Slack, Salesforce, and Uber. So, of course, Pivotal serves free, catered meals. It’s just expected.
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I’m accustomed to handling clients who are at a crossroads in their lives and are looking for change—after all, I’m a career coach. So this usually involves guiding clients through some pretty heavy soul-searching to help them find the sort of truly fulfilling work that we all deserve. This also means many of my clients are in an indecisive state at the outset—that’s to be expected. But I don’t think I’ve had a more indecisive client than Kevin. When I asked Kevin what sort of career he truly wanted to pursue, he blanked. I asked him what he enjoys doing and what he’s really good at, and he could never seem to articulate a direct answer.
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Self-help advice isn’t exactly in short supply. There are research-backed tips out there for boosting confidence, resilience, risk taking, and adaptability. The message is pretty clear: Feel better about yourself or change your beliefs about what you’re capable of, and you’ll excel. Indeed, ample scientific evidence supports each of these claims. Nevertheless, most self-improvement strategies focus too much on the person who’s trying to do the improving. Much of the time, the same outcomes you’re trying to achieve by changing your own habits, attitudes, and behaviors depend on how you view other people.
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When you’re an introvert browsing job listings, you might think something along these lines: Must avoid all sales jobs. Absolutely nothing client-facing. Actually, anything that’ll put me in the spotlight at all is a “no.” And that’s a totally understandable attitude, as many introverts find themselves drained after hours of interaction with people. It’s natural to want to work where you’ll be most comfortable, and for some, that’s without question a quiet environment with limited face-time (think computer programming, accounting, engineering, or writing). However, if you’re curious about certain other fields—ones that are considered traditionally extroverted—but have been reluctant to pursue opportunities, take heart. Before you write off that client-facing sales role or people-forward human resources position, you should know that plenty of introverted people thrive in so-called “extroverted” positions.
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Everyone needs someone in their lives that they can count on, someone to call when there’s no one else to call. And, these days, with radical change and ongoing disruption a constant part of every business, the most valuable people in any company are the ones you can count on in a crisis or a crunch--the "go-to" guys and girls. The people who are there in a pinch and who you naturally tend to run to, not from, when the feces hits the fan. This isn't part of anyone's job description, and it's not something you can create on the fly. That's why there's no better investment you could possibly make in your career or your future than being the first stop when someone's looking for help, versus the last resort. The good news is that this is a trait you can develop over time, like any other part of your reputation. If you're truly committed and your efforts are sincere and authentic, you can make it happen. Here's how.
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Who isn't tired of obsessing over their body and their food? The struggle to break free from yo-yo dieting and self-sabotage is real, and yes I know it sounds a little like an infomercial, but it's actually Sheila Vier's ethos. After successfully exiting her first company in 2015, she decided it was time to develop a company - SheilaViers.com - to help people recognize that entrepreneurs are still human and that they have all the same issues and insecurities that are human nature. But part of being the best CEO you can be is feeling powerful in your own skin. That's what Sheila Viers helps her clients capture. I have always tried to empower women through my agency's work, and to do that you have to address issues of health, wealth, relationships with ourselves and others, and even spirituality. It has to be a well-rounded approach to achieve stasis. Here are Sheila's best practices to manage the tightrope walk of life as an entrepreneur.
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A long time ago, in a law firm far, far away, when I was a mid-level associate, I was assigned to work on a project with a senior associate. He seemed like a nice person, and we got along fine. I felt comfortable enough to make suggestions that seemed above my station, such as a particular idea for settling the case and getting our client out of a jam. Senior Associate nodded his head. Then, at our team meeting, he said, “so, I was just thinking…” then proceeded to tell the partners my idea—without crediting me. The partners loved it. I was less impressed; I was dumbfounded and offended. But I didn’t speak up. Not at the meeting, nor privately with Senior Associate. Why? Because I wanted to be liked. By everybody. Including by Senior Associate, even though he turned out not to be a particularly nice person after all. I conducted myself exactly as I did before this incident not because I was afraid for my job, but because I wanted everybody to be my friend. I ignored the conflicts because then I could continue to believe everyone liked me.
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The further along you are in your career, the easier it is to fall back on the mistaken assumption that you've made it and have all the skills you need to succeed. The tendency is to focus all your energy on getting the job done, assuming that the rest will take care of itself. Big mistake. New research from Stanford tells the story. Carol Dweck and her colleagues conducted a study with people who were struggling with their performance. One group was taught to perform better on a task that they performed poorly in. The other group received a completely different intervention: for the task that they performed badly in, they were taught that they weren't stuck and that improving their performance was a choice. They discovered that learning produces physiological changes in the brain, just like exercise changes muscles. All they had to do was believe in themselves and make it happen. When the groups' performance was reassessed a few months later, the group that was taught to perform the task better did even worse. The group that was taught that they had the power to change their brains and improve their performance themselves improved dramatically.
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Business leaders sometimes make the assumption that if they have succeeded as a leader in one field of battle that they can simply replicate that strategy across all types of teams. That isn't necessarily true. Leadership is contextual and a skill that must be constantly developed and adapted. I have succeeded and failed in leadership positions throughout my life and therefor learned much throughout the journey. If we can apply just some of the lessons learned then we can usually find ourselves in a constant state of improvement. Most people have the opportunity to be a leader many times during their life. Whether that is as an entrepreneur, business executive, board member of a charity, coach of their kid's sports team, or as a leader of the family. The list goes on and on. Each opportunity comes with its own set of challenges.
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It gets our schedules and energy levels in sync.